Yes, another long gap. Get used to them. I disappeared once more to prepare for finals, hardcore. Which actually worked out since I aced the two hardest ones (Biochem, Anatomy) and got a solid B in the softer subject (Histo). Those finals were my saving grace and put me into a good place. They said (As opposed to Midterms) "I know what I'm doing, I've found my sweet spot, I can do this. I can do this well." It was truly an amazing feeling. Accomplishment, vindication, self awareness, these are just a few terms I can think of to describe what was quite honestly indescribable for me. If you know me well you know it's rare for me to be at a loss for words, but I was.
The past few days have been spent pack, saying goodbye's, and dining out with drinks and billiards for dessert. I've met some incredible people here and my world view has definitely been shaken a bit by some of the friends I've made. All for the better I assure you. One of the reasons you come to love and hate this place is that you meet these people and make very strong bonds because together, with one another's help, you get through the enormous and taxing undertaking that is medical school. Friendships forged through hardship, hardened by a collective goal, are strong and fast forming. This is why you start to love it. You begin to hate it however with the knowledge that in less than 2 years, we go our separate ways once more. You begin to wonder if when this is all over, despite the promises and plans made, will you ever see these people again?
On another note, I can finally relent to that nagging force, the sideways gravity pulling me north. The one pulling me back to New York, the one I've felt and resisted every day I woke up and walked out the door. I can see my family, girlfriend, friends, and the Manhattan skyline once more. Everything from the Subway to the cornerstore deli will have a brand new shine to me and I eagerly await to see them again.
Is this place as bad as the rumors say it is?
Yes.
What the rumors fail to tell you though is that all medical schools are like this. All medical schools are scary. All medical schools tax you physically, emotionally, and intellectually unlike anything you've probably experienced. The difference is state side students don't have much to complain about, it is what it is. When you're an island school, everyone and everything is under a microscope. I'd tell you most medical schools probably have the same issues we do with the exception of residency placement concerns and travel plans. Sure the school has it's flaws, but they all do. This school doesn't hold you by the hand, you either have to put up or shut up and get out. Thats another one of the big differences, but I think it gives us more of an edge. We've had the fear of God put into us by the prospect of having to leave due to academic reasons, it makes us work harder then the other guys.
So yes, the rumors were true, but they failed to mention that the very people spreading them had the same problems themselves.
Soon enough I'm getting on my plane home, and despite my relief upon boarding, I know in the back of my mind this place will be waiting. This was only round one of the fight, round two starts in August.
I can't wait to get back into the fight.
Ten minutes to downtown
Is ten minutes too far.
When my friends all say I’m crazy,
Maybe I’m being selfish.
(Maybe I’m being selfish.)
Maybe I’m just scared.
(Maybe I’m just scared. )
Don’t be gone when I get home…
I need you there.
If I had to explain it
I wouldn’t know where to start.
It’s like you’re falling in love while I just fall apart.
Ten minutes to downtown
Is ten minutes too far
When my heart is saying you’re crazy.
Maybe things are getting better…
(Maybe things are getting better…)
Maybe things aren’t so bad.
(Maybe things aren’t so bad. )
Don’t be gone when I get home…
You’re all I have.
If I had to explain it,
I wouldn’t know where to start.
It’s like you’re falling in love while I just fall apart.
Pockets empty.
How can you tell me that everything will work out…
A pointless fight
When you’re always right.
Everything will work out.
It works out.
Sometimes, I miss you more
Whenever I’m at home.
I’ve been home all summer…
Now I’m leaving you alone.
Pockets empty.
How can you tell me that everything will work out…
A pointless fight
When you’re always right.
Everything will work out.
Everything will work out.
Everything will work out.
- The Get Up Kids "Ten Minutes"
